DIM MAK SIGNS COLOSSAL POP STAR PRINCE, MUCH TO CHAGRIN OF RESIDENT FASHIONISTA

Legendary pop prince Prince announced at LAX on Sunday that he will be joining the Steve Aoki empire by signing with the moustached Asian's record label, Dim Mak Records. During Aoki's DJ set, the two bobbed up and down, flung their hair around to the music together and grinned enthusiastically for prolonged periods of time to demonstrate their excitement.

"I love Prince!" Aoki shouted, removing one headphone to hear the question.

However, Dim Mak employee Jeff, the door guy at Aoki's Cinespace on Tuesdays, isn't such a happy camper. He is known by the hoards of people vying weekly for his attention outside Cinespace for his Prince-like get-up, including extravagant hats, carefully grown facial hair, and snappily coordinated fur and silk ensembles. When we asked him about his emotions, Jeff told us, "Prince and I are in direct competition now. There's only room for one of us at this record label."

So what's next for the stylish little doppelganger?

Sources say the two are secretly planning a dance-off tonight at Cinespace. The winner gets a statue erected in the center of the smoking area at the club. The loser must intern for Dim Mak indefinitely.